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Saturday, July 31, 2004

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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

Tuck Blind -- 1998 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this. I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tuck Blind



07:56 28 Apr

"So when is your dad gonna let you drive to school?" Mike asked as
I slammed my locker shut.
"When hell freezes over, I think," I groused.
"You need to get a car."
"Duh! I just don't know how I can afford one."
Mike looked at me sideways as we started walking to class. "Maybe
you should get a job this summer."
"Maybe I should." I punched him on the shoulder. "You think the
FBI is hiring?"
"You? Ha! One look at you and they'd toss you in the pen. You
look too much like a lawbreaking anarchist rebel."
"Me!" I complained. "What about you?"
He stopped and gave me an innocent look. "Me? I am merely a
humble Asian high school student with excellent grades and a great
desire to contribute to the United States, my country." He put a hand
to his chest and started humming the national anthem.


08:02 28 Apr

"What's with him?" George asked, pointing at Mike.
"I accidentally hit his patriot button, now he's being the perfect
citizen." George looked at Mike like he was crazy, which he was. Mike
was busy reciting the preamble to the Constitution. And bowing to no
one in particular.
"At least we only have two more weeks of school left," Dan
mentioned.
"Then finals," I added.
Everyone who heard that, including a lot of people who weren't
supposed to be in the conversation, groaned.


14:53 28 Apr

I was going to head to detention again, when I remembered that my
two weeks was finally up. God, it had seemed like forever. At least I
had been able to get my homework done, though - which meant that I could
do more hacking at night, when I was home and didn't have teachers
staring over my shoulder as I forged packets or whatever.
Which meant, now that I was free again, that I had to start doing
homework at home again. Bleah.


18:09 28 Apr

Mom came back from the kitchen, which held the kitchen phone.
"Who was it?" Dad asked. Brian and I, in complete accord for once,
continued to stuff our faces.
"It was Trish," who was most likely her sister and my aunt. "She
forgot the time difference again." Definitely Aunt Trish. She never
could remember we were an hour later than she was.
"What was she calling about?" Dad asked. "Is everything okay?"
Mom seated herself at the table again. "Yessssss...." She looked
at Dad. "She was calling about Amy...."
"Amy?" Dad and I both asked at the same time. I caught Dad staring
at me out of the corner of my eye. "Is she-"
"She's alright... she was just wondering, if we still wanted to
take Amy for the summer-"
"Oh Mom!" Brian instantly protested. She'd held a disklike for
Brian ever since when he was four and threw a large clot of muck at her,
when she was dressed up to go out somewhere fancy "with the grownups."
She almost got away with making him eat what he'd thrown, too.


18:47 28 Apr

"Eugene?" Mom asked. "Would you feel alright about Amy coming down
for the summer?"
I thought about it, like I'd been thinking about it over dinner.
When I wasn't throwing gasoline on the fires of Brian's discontent.
"Yeah," I finally said. "She's okay, I mean I like her and
everything... it'd be nice to have her around, sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Well, I mean..." Come to think of it, even though she was getting
more into girl things now, I knew more than I had a year ago. And it
had always been fun to talk to her. She was smarter than she looked.
"No, it'd be a lot of fun," I told Mom. "I think Debbie'd like her, and
we could go do stuff, you know, like hang out or whatever." Whatever it
was we crazy teenagers did when parents weren't watching, I meant.
Although she wasn't really the sort to take along when, say,
executing a mailbox as a warning to someone.


20:09 28 Apr

The phone flashed, so I flicked it on. "'Lo?"
"Um, Val?" Debbie asked cautiously.
"What'sup, Deb?"
"Ahhh...." She sounded nervous. This was a bad sign. So was
calling me Val. Oh, hell.
"What issss it, Debbie? What's going on?"
She took a deep breath, then began speaking rapidly. "Okay, I just
wanted you to know before I say anything that this wasn't my idea, I
didn't suggest it or anything like that, it's all her idea-"
"WHAT is all WHOSE idea?"
She took another breath. "Remember Mrs. Parker?"
"Yeah? Oh. Does she want me to babysit again?" I sighed
silently. The idea of a car was on my mind, not to mention my own CD
recorder, and things like that cost money. And Miz Parker paid quite
well-
"Um. Sort of. But you don't have to if you don't want to," she
shot out.
"Sort of. What?"
She said desperately, "Val, I don't know how to ask this!" This
was the second time she called me "Val" in this conversation.


20:12 28 Apr

I stared at the monitors as I tried to figure out what to do.


20:14 28 Apr

"Hey?"
"Mike?"
"Yeah, whatsup? Having trouble on your history?"
"Uh, no."
"So whatsup, then."
I took a deep breath. "Debbie called me to ask me something..."
"Say no."
"What?"
"Say no," he repeated.
I protested, "You don't even know what it is!"
"Every time she asks you something, it turns out bad for you."
"That's not true, I mean when she asked me to do her taxes that
went okay."
Pause.
"Who cares about her taxes?" Mike asked rhetorically. "What does
she want, and I'll tell you why you should say no."


11:28 29 Apr

Debbie came up to me as I was proceeding to the game. "Um, did
you-"
"I'm still thinking about this, Debbie... this is so weird-"
She ran her fingers through her hair, looking desperate. "I know,
I mean, I just said I would ask.... I mean, it's no big deal if you say
no," she said quickly. "I can tell her no, or you're busy, or you've
already got another job or something, it's no big deal-"
"Yeah, but how much?"
"Six bucks-" she started to answer reflexively, then stared at me
in horror. "You're really thinking about taking it?" she gasped.
"It's a lot of money for not a whole lot of work, I mean, I sat for
them already, and it wasn't that bad, and that's about what Kathy's
making as cashier over there..."
"I'm not trying to push you into anything!" she wailed, sort of a
non sequitur.
"I believe you," I told her. It was mostly true. She seemed to
have reformed lately, anyway. "I just don't know. It's a lot of money,
for just..." I thought about what COULD happen. "At least most of the
time. And it doesn't involve deep fryers."
She was so worried, she didn't even smile at the joke.


12:20 29 Apr

"I'm telling you, it's a bad idea," Mike insisted.
"I know, I know! It's just all that money," I moaned.


16:48 29 Apr

I stared at the ceiling and thought about it. Boy, that would be a
lot of money.... even after taxes.
But then I'd have to watch the kids all days long.
But two of them wasn't so bad.
But one of them was still in diapers.
But I could do whatever I wanted while I watched them.
But...


19:11 29 Apr

"How much did you make stocking?" I asked Mike.
"A little over six an hour." For working like a dog the whole time
he was there. Admittedly, it had made him into much better shape. On
the other hand, it sure as hell had hurt the first few weeks, I
remembered.


20:09 29 Apr

"It's me," I said into the microphone.
"Oh, hi!" Debbie sounded much happier the second time. "How are
you?"
"Oh, okay, I guess. Um." I took a deep breath.


01:13 30 Apr

I went to the bathroom one last time, which was sort of fitting
considering the shit I'd been wading through all night.


07:56 30 Apr

"I'm telling you, you're making a mistake," Mike advised me as we
walked to homeroom.
I sighed. "Probably."
"So why are you doing it?"
I gave him a look. "The root of all evil, Mike."


11:42 30 Apr

"Oh, wait, that reminds me," Kathy said. "Tuck you're sitting this
summer, right?"
"Uh, yeah, why? Does everyone know about it already?"
She made a face at me. "Tuck, you need to take some safety classes
and stuff if you're going to work more than once or twice."
"Oh, great," I said nastily. "Why didn't anyone mention this
before? And how the hell am I gonna get into some kind of class on this
short notice?"
The corner of Kathy's mouth turned up. "Well, Tuck," she drawled,
"seeing as how I'm teaching most of them, I think I can fit you in."
I finally managed to say, "Oh." Which was better than standing
there with my mouth open.


11:34 1 May

Ding! went the play bell. "Okay," Mike started without waiting,
"so there you are, in front of the Lord Chancellor. He doesn't look
pleased."
"I bet he doesn't," Kim commented to me quietly.
I leaned over and whispered back, "I told you robbing the treasury
was a bad idea."
"Can I try my seduction skill on him?" Kathy asked.
Everyone, including Mike, just stared at her in shock.
She protested, "It was just an idea!"


14:52 1 May

"I'm kind of busy tomorrow night," Debbie sighed. "More catering.
I don't know how she keeps getting all this business."
"But you get some of it, right?"
"Yeah." She sighed again, and leaned against her car. "I just
wish, sometimes, I didn't have to work so hard."
"Me too."
She gave me a hug, or I gave her one.


16:19 1 May

"I dunno, I mean, I think Kim and I were going out," Mike said as
he jumped on his bed.
"So you and her are back together?"
He nodded. "I guess the phone thing was the only thing keeping us
apart."
"That's a stupid thing, Mike."
"Shut up, Tuck." He sighed. "Besides, it's fixed now."
"Thanks to me," I reminded him.
"Shut up, Tuck."


20:32 1 May

"Oh, hhhuh, heck. I'm working Friday and Saturday nights," Jill
complained. I stuck a finger under the cushion and scratched my itchy
ear. It only itched when I was on the phone, of course. "I didn't
think there was anything going on."
"There's not, I guess. I'm just trying to find something to do."


11:48 2 May

We were enjoying lunch outside for the first time in what seemed
like years, like most everyone else, when Julia came up. She asked
nervously, "Um, Tuck? Could I talk to you for a second? You too,
Debbie."
Debbie and I looked at each other.


11:50 2 May

Debbie snorted. Julia complained, "It's not funny!" Then she and
Debbie locked eyes, and Julia started snorting too. "It's not!" she
insisted before she burst out laughing.


11:53 2 May

"I mean, you can come if you want," Julia mentioned.
"I dunno," I said. "If Debbie goes, I guess I will. I get some of
the profits when we sell stuff together." Julia shook her head.
"God, what a last day of school," Debbie mentioned, then had a
giggle fit again.
Suddenly, an idea snapped into my head. "Hey, you're single at the
moment, right?" I asked Julia.
She frowned at me. Then she started to laugh.
"What?" I complained.
"Oh, oh, you, and her," she gasped, pointing at Debbie, who was
looking at me like it was my fault, whatever Julia was laughing at,
"you, she..."


11:57 2 May

Debbie looked embarrassed for once. "I knew this was going to
happen," she sighed.
"Eugene Tucker, stud muffin!" Mike shouted, and way too many people
looked our way. That just made things funnier, of course. At least it
was funnier to me.


12:02 2 May

"Anyway, what I wanted to ask, was, since you're," I pointed at
Debbie, "busy tonight, and you're," I pointed at Julia, "going out,
right? Like to a concert or something?" She nodded. "Maybe I could go
with you? Everyone else is busy tonight," I explained, as the two women
looked at each other. "And Sheila," my therapist person, "said it would
be a good idea to stay with my friends as much as possible."


12:04 2 May

They'd gone into a huddle, which worried me, and they were talking
frantically at each other. I sighed, wondering if I'd gone too far. I
mean, I just wanted a night out of my house, instead of sitting at home
getting crazier.
Finally, they came back. "Well?" I asked, hoping I was going to a)
live, and b) have a girlfriend tomorrow.
"Okay," said Debbie, "on one condition."
"What?" I HAD been getting smarter.
Debbie gave me a stern look, and Julia tried to. "If," Debbie said
slowly, "I hear one word, one single word about you trying to hit on
her, then you are a dead man."
I spluttered for a bit, then finally came back with, "Well, if she
tells the truth, then I ought to have a long live. Life," I corrected.
They looked a little confused at that, but it finally went through.
Julia shrugged. "Why would I lie about something like that?" I kept
my mouth shut at that one.
I was definitely getting smarter.


12:08 2 May

"So a suit would be okay?"
"Yeah, like that one I saw you in, um..." Julia thought for a
minute.
"Christmas?" Debbie suggested.
Julia nodded, then sighed. "God, that was a long time ago..."


14:54 2 May

Debbie and I were reaffirming our relationship out in the parking
lot before she had to go help Lisa with the catering thing. I was
wondering if we had time to stop by my house before she went, because
she kept rubbing me all sorts of fun places as we kissed, and it was
irritating that I was going to go home with Mike instead of her.
She was a great kisser, though.


19:04 2 May

"Well, you look nice," Mom said as I came downstairs.
"Thanks Mom, is she here yet?" I was running a little late.
"Debbie? No, she hasn't knocked, at least."
"Um. Well, actually, Debbie's busy tonight, Mom." Mom was about
to ask the obvious question, so I said, "Um, it's a friend, Julia?
She's in drama. She's supposed to pick me up." Maybe, I thought, I
should go check outside to see if she was waiting.
"Eugene?" Mom asked. I turned back, and she had the weirdest
expression on her face. "Does.... Does Debbie know about this?"
"Well, yeah, of course! I'm not dumb enough to go out with another
girl without her permission." I tapped my head. "Gettin' smarter, Mom.
Last year, I might have been dumb enough to try something like that, but
not now."
She looked sort of pained. "Have, have I met this girl before?"
"Um." I thought about it. "I don't think so..." Ding! went the
clue detector. "I'll bring her in for a minute when she gets here so
you can meet her, okay?"


19:07 2 May

Dad and Brian had come back, separately, and now we were all
waiting for Julia to show up, I guess. Mom and Dad were trying to talk
to each other silently, and I don't think they were getting through,
because Dad finally got up and sat next to Mom and they whispered in
each other's ears. Brian just flipped through channels with the remote.
I hoped I was bugging him. We'd had another "disturbance" over who got
to use the bathroom, which I settled by skipping dinner. Julia had
wanted to go out to dinner anyway. I hoped.
The doorbell rang, and I got up to answer it. Brian got up and
followed me. I sighed, and hoped he would keep his mouth shut. There
should only be one girl at the door this time, instead of the usual
three or more, and Brian might get nasty at Julia.
It was Julia, surprise surprise. Brian just looked at her as we
said hello and I invited her in for a minute, and then he wandered back
to the television. I hoped he would stay quiet.


19:12 2 May

"What was with your parents?" Julia asked as we got into her car.
I laughed. "I, I keep showing up with parts of the Pack, I mean
they keep showing up, to take me out, and I keep telling 'em I'm dating
Debbie and not the rest of 'em, but they get freaked out when I go out
with like half a dozen of them at a time. And no other guys," I added.
She gave me a look. "I can see how that would confuse them," she
finally said.
"Say," I mentioned, "did you want to go out to eat before the
concert?"


19:28 2 May

"I mean, is this okay with you?" she asked me.
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I love Italian food."
"Me too," she grinned, and pulled into the parking lot.


19:47 2 May

"I wondered if we'd EVER get seated," Julia whispered in my ear.
"It was kind of a long wait," I whispered back.
"You're sure you don't mind coming here?" she asked again.
I made a face at her. "Really, I would have said something before
now, Jule." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and picked up a menu.
"Just, it seems kind of expensive, is all."
"Do you have enough money?" she asked, picking up her purse. "I
can loan you-"
"Julia! I've got some money," fast draining away, but not all gone
yet. "I just, I mean, this seems like the kind of place to go with
someone you, you... you know."
She sighed, and gave me an apologetic look. "It was, sort of.
Tony and I used to come here, but when we broke up, I was scared to come
back. So... so I kind of wanted a friend along before I tried it
again. Besides, it's close to the hall."
"Oh, okay. Makes sense." I picked up my menu. "What's good and
doesn't remind you of ex-boyfriends?"
She smiled at me.


20:38 2 May

The waiter had been looking at me funny all evening, so I was kind
of glad when the check came and we could get out of here.
Julia and I figured out who owed how much, and we dug around and
found enough for the bill and a tip, and then we stood up. I offered my
arm as we walked out, and she took it and smiled at me.
I almost followed her into the restroom that way. She almost took
me, too. We stared at each other when we figured it out, and sort of
laughed, but it was sort of a painful laugh.


20:42 2 May

"Sorry about the, the, back there..."
I nodded. "It's okay, it happens. I gotta work to stop myself
from doing it when I'm out with most of my friends, now. At least the
female ones." It hurt like hell, but it wasn't her fault.


20:50 2 May

"This was close," I said, impressed for some reason.
"I know," she said, and her face kind of fell. "Tony and I, we
used to..."
I grabbed her hand, which got her attention. "Well, now that
you've got me here, tell me what we're gonna be listening to?" Not to
distract her or anything. Haha.


20:52 2 May

I stepped up to the window, since Julia had paid more for dinner
than I had. "Two, please?"
The clerk said, "Yes ma'am, that'll be twelve dollars."


20:54 2 May

I wiped my face. "I don't even know why I bother trying any more."
My throat hurt as I tried to keep from bawling.
"Tuck, I'm sorry," she said sadly. I looked at her, and her face
looked like she was about to cry, too. "If I'd known, I, I..."


20:55 2 May

"I mean, I mean," I was warming up to my topic, "that's why the
waiter was looking at me funny! He, he," I figured out what he must've
been thinking, and I snorted.
"What?"
I motioned her over, and whispered in her ear, "I'm wearing a suit,
right?" She nodded. "Hair slicked back everything, right? So if he
thought I was a girl, and I look like this, and you look like that, then
what does that make the two of us together?"
She looked at me for a second, and then caught it, and snorted.
"You are fucking with too many people's heads lately, Tuck," she
mentioned.


20:57 2 May

"No, come on, that's too much," she told me. "Just put some
lipstick on and come on, they're gonna be starting in a few minutes."
I dropped the mascara back in her purse and grabbed the lipstick.
It was a darker shade than I normally wore, but when I put it on, it
went well with the dark coat. I looked kind of Gothic, but that was
cool, especially with the clothes. All it needed was a fedora... "I
wish I had a hat," I thought out loud. "Except it would mess up my
hair."
"Me too, now come on," she said impatiently.


21:19 2 May

I glanced over at her, to see if she was smirking at me for closing
my eyes and air conducting. She had her eyes closed and she was
mouthing words in time to the music.


21:47 2 May

We waited until some of the people had left before we got up.
"I've got to go powder my nose," Julia mentioned. That must have been
why she was walking so fast.
"Me too." That's why I was keeping up.
We slipped through the crowds and towards the women's room.
"Val?" I looked over, and she was holding her face in a mild
pleasant smile. "They're looking at us."
I bit my lip. "Gosh, wonder why."
We didn't dare look at each other any more.


21:50 2 May

I was fiddling with my hair with my fingers when she got out of her
stall and came over to check herself. "Good God, Val," she exclaimed,
"you are so vain. Come on, let's get a drink," she said before I could
jump all over her for that comment.


21:52 2 May

"I just had to say it," she sort of apologized. "Dramatic
necessity." She sipped at her coke.
"Okay, I can see that," I said after a minute. It was kind of a
funny comment.
"Would you mind going back in a little early?" she asked me.
"Avoid the rush, and all that?" I shook my head, and then had an idea.
With a grin, I offered her my arm.
She looked at me for a second or two, and then she started biting
her lip, like I was doing, and turning pink. She gracefully slid her
arm through mine, and we proceeded through the crowd like royalty. We
didn't dare look at each other, though, or we would have cracked up and
ruined the whole thing.


22:49 2 May

We were discussing the concert when some young guy dressed all in
black came up and leaned on Julia's shoulder. "Hey, girl, what's
happenin'?" he asked. I got the impression she knew him, because she
didn't just dump his arm off.
"Just doing the concert thing, Stevie," she said.
"Stephan," he corrected almost instantly. "Who's your friend
here?"
"Um," she glanced at me, "this is Val, she's a friend of mine from
school. Val, this is Stevie-"
"Stephan-"
"We keep running into each other at drama things."
"Or concerts," he added, "or recitals, or plays, or movies, or art
galleries, or-"
"Lots of places," she said. She made a I'm-sorry face at me, I
guess because of having to call me Valerie. I shrugged; I would have
been more embarrassed if I had to explain what I as a guy was doing
wearing makeup.
"Hi," I said, and he stuck out his hand, and I shook it.
"So," he said, leaning more on Julia, "did you have any plans for
afters?"


23:12 2 May

"Um," Julia said as we turned into a parking lot that almost looked
familiar, "Val?"
"Huh?"
"This place..." She cleared her throat. "It's a little..."
Suddenly, I recognized where we were, and started to laugh.


23:14 2 May

I watched Stevie, or Stephan, kiss some guy hello. "So he's gay, I
take it," I whispered into Julia's ear.
"Does that, I mean, it's no big deal, right, I mean-"
"Just checking."


23:17 2 May

I was a little overwhelmed. Stevie had met up with a whole bunch
of friends, and they were, I guessed, mostly gay. Or something close.
Well, the guys were. Maybe it was a drama thing. Julia didn't seem to
be freaked out, anyway. I was, sort of. I mean, I'd been here before,
and watched guys do things to guys that would have provoked a murder in
my high school, so I was sort of used to it. But I'd never been in the
middle of it before. Stevie made sure we were, because he introduced us
to everyone, not that I remembered any names, and then made us sit down
at a booth that was right next to several tables where most of them were
hanging out.
"So when have YOU been here?" Julia finally asked.
"Jill and me and Kim come out here every Sunday morning for
breakfast," I explained. "We've been coming here for a long time, I
guess... since, uh, since I slept over at Sabrina's house the first
time."
"You what?!" She looked shocked.
"Oh, you didn't know about that?" Oh. I wondered if I'd made a
mistake.


23:19 2 May

She was shaking her head as we got cokes, and for some reason cokes
made me think of food which made me think of Debbie doing catering
tonight, which made me wonder if she was awake. "Let me go see if
Debbie's out yet, okay?" Julia nodded as she sucked on the straw, so I
crawled through the crowd and towards the door. There was a pay phone
outside.


23:23 2 May

I was dodging back towards my seat, and hoping it was still there,
when I heard Julia complaining. "I'm NOT DATING her!" she protested.
After a second, I figured she was talking about me. "We're just
friends, and she was bored tonight," yep, that was me, "so just keep
your filthy minds out of it!" she huffed.
A couple of guys I'd been introduced to laughed, but when they saw
me push my way through, they shut up and changed the subject. I sat
down next to Julia again, and shrugged. "Maybe this wasn't a good
idea," I said a little louder than necessary, thinking sort of sideways.
"I asked Debbie to bring some clothes if she can make it." I slid the
tie off and stuck it in my pocket. "I mean, it was a really cool idea,
the suit, but it's not me, you know?" I did not unbutton the coat.
She blinked, then said at just the right time, "Well, it was just
an idea. You do look sharp, though." We shrugged at each other, and
she bumped me under the table with her foot. We smiled at each other.
It was bad enough wearing a suit, any time. It was worse, much
worse, to keep getting taken for a girl in one. I figured, if I was
gonna sort of be elected a girl by the crowd tonight, that I might as
well be comfortable - so to speak - in something that was a little less
constricting.


23:36 2 May

"Hi," this girl said as she pulled up a seat next to the table.
She looked older than me, but not too much, and the first thing that
caught my eye was that she had a really short haircut, almost a crew
cut. I was worried for an instant that a skinhead was about to rip me
to pieces, but she was smiling. "Haven't I seen you here before?" she
asked.
"Um," I thought for a second, trying to remember her, and nothing
really came up. "I dunno. I, this is my first time out, I mean, Julia
and I went to a concert, and I guess she comes here a lot afterwards,"
the girl was nodding like she was interested, "and I was bored, so we
went together tonight." I shrugged.
"No," said the girl, "I think... do you come in here on Sundays,
like for breakfast sometimes?"
"Oh! Yeah, that." I smiled at her. She smiled back.


23:42 2 May

Tanya, the girl I had been talking to, had to go to the bathroom
and after she left, Julia nudged me in the ribs. "Don't go home with
her," she whispered in my ear.
"What?" I asked skeptically.
Julia looked at me like I was stupid. "She's trying to pick you
up, idiot."
"No way!"
"And," she continued into my ear, getting quieter, "if she finds out
what you've got in your underwear, she might just rip it off."
I whispered back in her ear, "If DEBBIE finds out, I'd be lucky if
that was all that happened!"


23:47 2 May

Tanya had kind of left me alone, claiming she needed to talk to
someone else, when she got the idea that I was uncomfortable around her.
I felt nervous about having my dick ripped off, for some reason, haha.
And that wasn't even counting what Debbie would do...
Everyone else was having five or six conversations at once, and
interrupting each other too, when someone pushed their way through the
crowd, and it turned out to be Debbie and Lisa and Jill. "Hey Val!"
Debbie said when she saw me, and waved a gym bag in the air. Jill just
grinned, and waved to us.


23:49 2 May

"Maybe you shouldn't bother with most of the makeup," Debbie
suggested. "You're doing okay as it is, and you're just gonna have to
take it off in a while anyway." I checked my watch, and she was right.
On the other hand, I felt better with it on. Like it was camo paint or
something.
"Debbie?" She raised her eyebrows. I spoke quietly to her as I
worked on my face; she had to sit on the sink to hear me. "There was
this girl tonight..."
Confession, they said, was good for the soul. I just hoped my soul
would still be in my body in ten minutes.


23:52 2 May

As Debbie and I got back to the table, Lisa was telling a couple of
guys, "Oh, you know, one friend leads to another, and then before you
know it you're someplace you've never- oh, hey," she changed the subject
when she saw us.


23:53 2 May

"Playing normal person," Lisa whispered in my ear. I nodded, and
had some more of her croissant. She slapped my hand when she saw what I
was doing.


00:26 3 May

"I have GOT to get home," I mentioned to Debbie.
"Me too," she said, looking at her pager.


00:34 3 May

"Oh, it was okay. I handed out about two dozen business cards, so
it was a pretty good night." She shook her head. "God, I didn't know
there were so many gay guys in town." Debbie and Lisa giggled.


00:38 3 May

"So, like, I was so pissed... and then I thought, you know, like
why fight it any more?" I shrugged. "I, I dunno. It was like, I'd
just had enough, and people were looking at me weird anyway, and, I
dunno." It had seemed sort of a good idea, or at least not a bad idea,
at the time. Now Debbie wanted me to explain it, and like a lot of
these sorts of ideas, it was almost impossible after the fact.


10:02 3 May

"Are you sleeping well?" Sheila asked me.
"Sort of. I, I was kind of out late last night." I shrugged.
"You said to do fun stuff, and I had to look a little, but it was pretty
fun, I went out with this girl I know, Julia, we went to this
concert..."


10:53 3 May

"See you next week?" Sheila asked as I got up. I nodded, and she
got up too and opened the door. My parents were waiting.


11:31 3 May

"Eugene?"
I sighed, and stopped. "Yeah, Dad?"
He sighed back at me. "Do you, I mean, is this therapist doing you
any good?"
I thought about it. "I dunno, yet. The Pack said-"
"The Pack?"
"All those girls I, me and Debbie hang around with?" He nodded,
sort of grinning. "Anyway, some of 'em are in therapy too, and they
said a couple of weeks is kind of soon to be seeing any results." I
shrugged. "She, Sheila, she's okay, I guess."
"I know you didn't want to go, but, your mom and I, we just
didn't..." He looked like he was in pain.
"I know," I lied.


11:27 3 May

The phone flashed, so I flipped it off hook. "'Lo?"
"Hey, Tuck," said Mike. "You... busy, tonight?"
"Don't think so. Wanna 'do something?'"
"Yep. Tonight, anyway. I got this class I gotta take for this
summer, this afternoon."
"Like what? Baby butt wiping?"
"Yeah, pretty much. And first aid and lifeguarding and other
stuff."
"Jeez. When you gonna be done?"
"Uh, Kathy said about seven. Which reminds me..."


11:34 3 May

"Hey Deb!"
"Tuck!" She sounded surprised. "What's up?"


12:02 3 May

"You really do this?"
Kathy said, in this sort of tired voice, "I really do this. A
lot."
"Oh. Cool," I guess. If she liked it. I guess she did, though,
or she wouldn't do it more than once.
She ruffled my hair and smiled at me. "Ready for CPR?"


19:29 3 May

"So what ARE you going to do tonight?" Debbie asked me over her
coke.
"Oh, I dunno. Something." I shrugged. "The less you know-"
She finished with, "-the less I can tell in court." She sighed, "I
know, I know. I just wish you'd tell me more of this stuff before it
happens."
I thought about it. "Promise to keep quiet?"
"Duh!"
I grinned at her. "Here's what we were gonna do..."


00:14 4 May

I was a little surprised to see Jill in the van, but there she was.
She smiled at me. It wasn't a nice smile. Neither was mine.
"She wanted to come along," Mike explained, "and I figured we could
use another hand. I... explained to her... the rules." I glanced at
Jill, and she nodded, looking very serious. I figured that it would
take a lot more than hot needles to get HER to talk.


01:19 4 May

I wrapped the induction antenna with electrical tape; lots and lots
of electrical tape, so it would stay on and hopefully dry through the
rain.
Poor old Matthew. He was going to be insane if this worked. More
insane than he was already, I mean.
"Test check at the house end, Hugo," I said into the microphone.
There were some clicks on the line, then a dial tone, then a rapid
sequence of DTMF, then a few rings, then someone picked up the phone.
Dan hung up. I pulled my lineman's set out, and hooked into another
circuit on the pole, and dialed the recorder. It picked up, finally,
and I tapped in the access code. It played back everything that had
gone over Nickerson's line, including the DTMF, at double speed.
"Jester says, basic check works out. Let me reprogram this..."
"Hey," said Jill over the radio, instantly recognizable. "Cop,
he's turning into the alley, east side."
"Oh, shit," said someone. I just froze, staring at the pole.
The cop car drove slowly down the alley; I could tell from where
the headlights reflected. Be calm, I thought to myself, be calm be
calm be calm becalmbecalmbecalmbecalm- he was right beneath me,
ohGoddon'tletmegotojailplease... The cop kept going, and I started to
breathe again, a lot.


10:04 4 May

"Val, you look awful," Kim mentioned when she saw me.
"She was up late," Jill said before I could say anything.
Kim looked at me, then at Jill, then at me, then at Jill, then
said, "Would anyone care to explain?"
We both said "No," at the same time.


10:49 4 May

I kept looking for Tanya, but she wasn't around today. I hoped.


15:37 4 May

"Well, is there ANYthing in the cell?" Dan asked desperately. I
knew taking claustrophobia was a bad idea, but nobody ever listened to
me.
"Nope," said Mike, with a note of finality.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan complained. He'd get points for roleplaying for
this session, assuming he didn't get killed. Well, his character.


18:19 4 May

"Ready?" Mike nodded, and got ready on the tape recorder. I
dialed up Nickerson's phone, and crossed my fingers.
It went off hook, and beeped. I tapped in the access code while
Mike hit record. It started to babble. We grinned at each other.


11:31 5 May

"So what did you do this weekend?" Amanda asked me.
"Ohhhhhh," I looked at my fingernails. "Nothing much." Jill
cracked up.




"You know, if I wasn't transsexual [and paying for all these
hormones], I could have paid for SRS by now?" - ehayes


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"Tallyho!" \ / >--,--'-- ehayesnym.alias vicki .sig
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Indian Porn Model Sex story

The following work of fiction contains sexual activities between
consenting adults. If you are too young, too uptight, or your
local government is too oppressive, you should stop reading now.



This story is in the public domain. While you are legally free
to do anything you like with it, out of courtesy to the author,
I humbly request that you leave my name and contact information
with this story.


Liz
By Poison Ivan



By Poison Ivan

Warning! The following work of fiction contains
sexual activities between consenting adults. You must be at least 18
years old to read it.

I rolled her over on her back. I tried to kiss her, but she
turned her head away. "No, no kissing," she said. I shrugged. If
she didn't want to kiss, that was fine with me.

I'd met her at the hotel bar, where she had just started working.
Her name was Liz and she screwed up my order three times. "How
hard is it to remember a double scotch?" I teased. I flirted with
her all night, and when the bar closed for the evening, she
followed me to my room.

At first she sat on the bed and talked about her father while I
poured myself a drink. Given the difference in our ages, it
didn't take a genius to imagine she saw me as some sort of father
figure. But her neuroses were none of my concern. I tried not
to think about it too much.

I got her blouse off. Her bra was white and mostly transparent.
Her nipples were as big around as silver dollars, and they formed
dark circles under the lacy fabric. I tried to reach around her
back and unhook her bra.

But she suddenly twisted away and bounced out of reach. She sat
on the edge of the bed with her back towards me.

"What's wrong?" I said.

She sighed deeply. "I should go."

I ran my finger down the ridge of her backbone. "No, don't go.
Stay here with me tonight." I prodded the clasp of her bra with
my fingertip. It had a double hook - it would be a simple task to
unfasten it.

"I can't." She reached down and picked her blouse up off the
floor.

"Why not?"

"It's my husband. He is supposed to call."

I sat up beside her. She turned her head slightly away and
wouldn't look at me. I bumped my bare shoulder against hers. My
erection tented my slacks.

"Why don't you call him tomorrow?" I took her hand and put it in
my lap. Her fingers tightened around my prick, and she finally
looked at me and smiled slyly.

But her smile quickly faded. "Did I tell you my little brother
died last month?" she said. "He committed suicide. He was only
twenty-three."

She buried her face into my neck, and I knew why she had laughed
so much earlier in the evening. Tears trickled down my chest, and
I stroked her long hair.




The next night I went back to the hotel bar, and Liz was there
again. Her smile beamed as soon as I walked in the door.

"Hello!" she said. "I was hoping you'd come back!"

She had the night off, but she had come to the bar anyway hoping
to find me again. We stayed for a couple hours, and I bought her
four drinks. She was happy and smiling and laughed at all my
jokes. As the evening wore on, she kept stroking my forearms as
if she couldn't keep her hands off me.

She was a little tipsy. I decided I'd try again to get her, and
again she agreed to come back to my room. I bought a bottle from
the bartender and we skittered up the elevator like a couple of
guilty school kids.

She still wouldn't kiss me, but this time I got her bra off. Her
breasts were large and soft, and those big nipples squeezed up
tightly when I sucked them.

I tried to pull her panties down, but she grabbed my wrist. "No,"
she said.

"No?" I said, a whine creeping into my voice.

"No. I'm sorry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I felt playful and didn't want it to end. "I'll tell you what.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

She scrunched up her face. "Ah. So that's how it's supposed to
work?"

But I wouldn't be so easily deterred. I yanked my shorts down and
dropped them over the side of the bed. I took her hands and
wrapped them around my straining cock. "Feel what you do to me?"

"Hmm," she smiled, and her hands moved almost imperceptibly on my
penis. "But I'm still not going to fuck you."

"No?" I was repeating myself, and I was annoyed at myself for not
being able to think of anything new to say.

"No."

I couldn't figure her out. I got up out of bed, my hard-on waving
stiffly. She rolled over on her belly; her tan panties stretched
tight over her ass. She turned her head towards the window. She
had a dreamy, far-away look in her eye.

I found a tumbler and filled it with scotch. I took a deep
swallow and nearly gagged, but I forced it down. And then I took
another swallow. I refilled my glass.

For just an instant, I thought about what my wife might be doing
at home. Probably doing mundane household chores, like ironing
clothes. While watching TV. Not that it made much difference what
my wife was doing.

"Why don't you come over to my place tomorrow?" Liz said in a
barely audible voice. She was still lying on her belly.

"What about your husband?"

She rolled over to face me. Her large breasts formed two
beautifully soft pillows on her chest. "He left a message on the
machine yesterday. They are keeping him until late next week."
She paused and looked at me expectantly. She was a very pretty
girl. "So what do you say?"

I watched with an increasing desire as her hand ran absently down
over her naked breasts and came to rest on her tummy. I could
feel some of the old fire beginning to flare in my veins.

If I were smart, I would forget her and move on. But she had
touched something in me that reminded me of my younger years. It
reminded me of when I was first married.

"Sure," I said, "I'd be glad to."




I arrived at Liz's house at five o'clock sharp. She stood on her
porch and waved as I pulled into the driveway.

She gave me a quick tour through the house. It wasn't much of a
house, really. And compared to my wife, Liz wasn't much of a
housekeeper. "This is the kitchen," she said. Loose photographs
littered the counter like unraked leaves. The pictures were all
of various people, friends and family, I presumed. I looked
through a few. Liz herself was only in one, a group shot of four
people standing together in the bright sun. She was on the right,
brightly radiant. The old couple, her mother and father, stood
closely together in the middle. And the teenage boy, who stood
slightly away from the other three, his hands thrust in his
pockets.

"That's Eddie," she pointed, "and those are my mom and dad."

It was hard to relate this family to this woman. I looked at her
mother's eyes, but they were cast in shadows and didn't reveal a
thing. And Eddie's somber face was a complete contrast to Liz's
ebullience. I had to look closely to see any familial resemblance
at all - perhaps a similarity in the slope of the nose, or maybe
the chin.

She showed me a few other nondescript rooms and then led me down
a narrow hallway. "And this," she said as she threw open a door
with a flourish, "is the bedroom."

The bed was unmade and the room smelled faintly of a pine
disinfectant. She sat down on the bed and faced me and threw her
arms apart. "Are you coming?" she said, smiling widely.

We rolled together on the bed. This time she let me kiss her, and
her hands were all over me. Our shoes thumped to the floor, and
we quickly whipped off our shirts. Her breasts felt exhilarating
against my bare chest.

I pulled my underwear down and my erection sprung free. She
stared intently at my penis and licked her lips. And then she
looked me in the eye. "Do you have a condom?" she asked.

"No," I said.

"You need to have a condom," she said.

I was deeply disappointed, but I tried to play the responsible
adult. "That's smart of you," I said. "You can't be too careful
these days."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. It's just I can't get
pregnant."

"You're not on the pill?"

"No."

"I don't know," I smiled, and I twirled my fingers around in her
pubic hair. "That wouldn't be so bad."

"I can't justify bringing a baby into this world," she said, but
her voice was off in a different place. Her eyes had that distant
look again.

"Doesn't your husband have a condom?"

"No. Charlie won't wear them."

I fingered her navel. "So what does he do? Does he put it here?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. But mostly he doesn't come. He can fuck
for hours without coming. But maybe his sperm count is a little
low." She sighed. "Or maybe it's just me."

"If it's you, then maybe it'll be safe."

"No."

I raked my fingers through her curly hairs. "So I'll pick up
something tomorrow, OK?"

She smiled. "All right."

Her eyes dropped and got a misty look in them. She seemed to be
drifting away again. I tried to reel her back in.

"But in the meantime, what about me?" I said.

She blinked rapidly and looked at me. "You? What about you?"

"About this?" I said, pointing to my erection. "How about you
finish me with your hand?"

"No."

"Or a blowjob."

"No."

"Why not?"

"That would make me too excited. I wouldn't be able to control
myself."

I laughed. I had never run across a woman who resisted like this!
"So then what? Do you just want to get drunk?"

She frowned. "Don't be mean. Who knows? Maybe if you were more
persuasive ..."

"I think I'll just go back to the hotel."

"Charlie can get me to do what he wants. Charlie knows how to
push all my buttons."

"Too bad Charlie is a thousand miles away."

She got very quiet and I immediately felt bad. I sat down beside
her on the bed and caressed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry," I
said. "I'm just a sour old man."

"No you're not. You can be sweet when you want to be."

"I really should get back, though. If I'm going to get drunk, I
should do it where I don't need to drive."

"OK."

She had a disappointed look on her face that gave me one last
pause for optimism. "Unless it's OK for me to stay here tonight,"
I said.

She spoke almost in a whisper. "I don't think that's a good
idea."

I nodded. I expected as much. "But let's do something tomorrow,
OK?"

She smiled. "I'll call you," she said.

I picked up some condoms and a couple bottles of scotch on the
way back to the hotel. In my room, I poured myself a big,
thumping drink, but fatigue overwhelmed me before I got a chance
to finish it. I fell into a deep, child-like sleep.




The next day I skipped out on the convention and met her at the
city park. I knew my boss would notice my absence and I would
catch hell, but it had been a long time since I cared what my
boss thought about me. I'd been considering quitting for years,
but I never went through with it because the thought of looking
for a new job made the skin at the back of my neck prickle
uncomfortably.

The day was warm and sunny, and the air smelled of freshly cut
grass. She brought a plastic grocery bag full of food, and we
found a quiet corner to sit and eat.

She was playful and attentive. After we ate, we walked around the
park, hand in hand. I whistled some old romantic tunes, and she
laughed and hugged me. Whenever we walked by a tree, we would
sneak behind to kiss.

She had to leave after two hours. "Charlie said he would call
this afternoon," she said. "But this was fun. Why don't you come
over for dinner tonight? Daniel is going to be there too. He's an
old friend. You can meet him."

I wasn't happy that we'd have company, but I really wanted to see
her again. I told her I'd go back to the hotel and change, and
I'd be at her place at six.




When I arrived, Daniel was already there. He was young, like she
was, and had a serious look that made me take an instant dislike
towards him. He had long blond hair, steel-rimmed glasses, and
carried a book bag over his shoulder. He sat on the living room
floor and said things like, "Sartre was a fool."

They had a pizza delivered. I drank scotch and they drank the
cheap beer Daniel brought with him.

He didn't leave until after one o'clock. "Thank God he's gone," I
said when she closed the door behind him. "That was boring."

"Be nice," she said. "Daniel is a good friend. And you know, I
think he likes you."

"Daniel needs to find his own girl." I hugged her and kissed her
and she leaned her head back and gave me a good, long look. She
seemed to be sizing me up, so I gave her as good a smile as I
could muster after all the alcohol I'd consumed. Lucky for me, my
drunk smile can be endearing. "Why don't we just go to bed?" she
said.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I poured myself a drink while she hurriedly slipped out of her
jeans and T-shirt. I put my drink down, stripped, and followed
her under the covers.

She lay her head on my chest and I picked up my drink again. I
sipped carefully while she played with the hair on my chest. For
the first time I noticed she bit her fingernails. I thought I
should probably get rid of the booze, but I took another sip.

"Does your wife know you cheat on her?" she asked.

"I doubt it," I said.

"You don't think she suspects these little trips of yours?"

I thought about that. My wife doesn't have much of an
imagination, really. "I don't think it would even occur to her."

"Do you think she's cheating, too?"

"No. She seems reasonably happy. Besides, she doesn't have the
time."

"But you find the time."

I drained my drink and set the glass on the floor. The heat of
alcohol rose in my veins.

She rolled off my chest and lay down beside me. She stared
blankly up towards the ceiling. "I found out Charlie is cheating
on me," she said.

"Yeah?"

"With my best friend."

I traced my fingers across her nipples. They puckered slightly,
then relaxed again.

"Charlie doesn't mean to hurt me. In some ways, he's just a
little boy."

I pulled the sheet back. The entirety of her naked body lay
stretched out on the mattress. The baby-soft skin, the womanly
breasts, and the slight pooch of her belly.

"In a way, I'm much older than he is." She sighed. "He's really
just a little boy."

The wild tangle of black hair between her legs begged to be
explored. I crawled downwards and got a good, close look. She
smelled of cunt and sweat and beer.

I pressed my nose up into the crease of her crotch and slid up
and down. Her hips rose up off the bed and I wrapped my hands
around her thighs and pushed my face up harder. Her slickness
built between her fleshy lips, and I rubbed my face around. I
found her clitoris and gave it a tender kiss.

And then I licked her clit, firm tongue lashes, pressing it hard
against her pubic bone and letting it side out from under my
tongue. Her whole body jerked as it popped out of my tongue's
control. Her nipples strained fabulously, and I sucked her
bulging bulb right into my mouth.

She squirmed and arched against my face. "Now," she panted. "Fuck
me now."

I rolled on a condom and kneeled between her legs. Her face was
bright red. Her brown pubic hair was plastered to her crotch with
all the wet. I held my cock and placed the head at her glistening
opening. "Fuck me," she said, and I knew she was finally mine.

I slid into her slick sheath, and she surrounded my cock, she
pulled me into her, and I thrust into her, feeling her hot cunt,
feeling the exquisite sensations along the length of my shaft and
rubbing against the flare of my cockhead, and I pumped and pumped
and the pleasure spiraled inside me, and I fucked her, and I
fucked her, and I fucked her, and the cum gathered and my body
stiffened and I fucked her some more and finally, oh finally, the
pleasure spilled forth, the ecstasy grabbed me, and my semen
spurted out of me.

Happy at last, I lay back and drifted off towards sleep. I was
vaguely aware that she was still awake, and for a moment I
wondered if she had got hers, too. I thought maybe she had, but I
wasn't quite sure. I wasn't quite sure.




I woke up, and she lay behind me in bed with her arm draped
around my waist. Her open palm rested on my belly, and her soft
breasts pressed against my back. Her mouth was right behind my
ear. I could feel her moist breath on my neck.

"Let me tell you about my brother Eddie," she whispered.

"No, you don't have to."

Her arm tightened around me. "But I want to tell you. I need to
tell you."

We lay still for a long time, and I thought maybe she had changed
her mind, that she didn't really want to talk. But just as I
began to dip back towards sleep, she started speaking in an easy,
measured voice.

"My brother was always a loaner," she began. "Even as a kid, he
kept to himself.

"Me and my parents were always worried about him. Even as a
little kid, but especially later, when he was in high school.
Eddie never seemed to have friends, and he'd spend hours by
himself in his room. Sometimes he'd just lie there for so long it
scared us. He would skip school all the time. I mean, kids skip
school, that's just something they do. But Eddie wouldn't even
do anything when he skipped. He'd just stay home and do nothing
and get caught. All for no reason.

"I would come back from college and ask him how he was doing. He
always said, `Fine,' and that was it. I used to buy him beer and
he'd say, `Thanks.' It was like talking to a fence post.

"He had a really tough time. He was such a sad boy. But he never
got in a lot of trouble. He finally got through high school. But
I was afraid how he would handle moving away from home and going
to college.

"But he actually did OK. He even graduated, although it took him
five years and his grades were never very good. He still wasn't
too social, and he never brought friends home, but he seemed to
be surviving. I talked to Mom and Dad about it once. We thought
maybe things weren't so bad.

"We were stunned when he got married. No one even knew he was
seeing anybody, and all of a sudden, he came back home with
Arlene, his new wife. My parents and I were so surprised! But we
were also very happy for him. We were sure he was starting an
exciting new part of his life.

"They had the baby right away. Arlene was wonderful. She doted on
that kid, you could tell she adored him. Mom and Dad were
delighted to have a grandson. They teased me that they always
thought I would be the first to give them grandchildren.

"Eddie, though, never seemed to connect with the baby. While
Arlene took care of the baby, he would just stand back in the
corner of the room and watch like he was a stranger in his own
home.

"Eddie always got these spells. As long as I remember, he would
sort of drift off. He would just lie in bed staring at the
ceiling, and he wouldn't say a word to anybody. Sometimes these
spells would last just an hour, but when he got older, sometimes
they lasted for days. Mom would get so scared. Dad thought maybe
he was faking. We didn't know what to do. But he always snapped
out of them eventually.

"I'm not sure if he had the spells after he went to college. But
after the baby came, he started having them again. Arlene called
me one day in a panic, telling me that Eddie hadn't moved a
muscle since Sunday.

"And I didn't do a thing. I just told her Eddie did that
sometimes, that you just have to wait and then he'll snap out of
it. He always did.

"And then I got the phone call at work. Arlene was hysterical,
she said she needed help." Liz breathed a long, slow, ragged
breath. "I called the police, and they got there right away.
Right away. But it wasn't fast enough. Eddie had a knife,
and ..." Her voice began to break.

I rolled around to face her. Tears welled in her eyes. "No more,"
I said gently.

"That poor baby. And Arlene." Tears streamed from both eyes. "And
then he used the knife on himself ..."

"You don't have to go on," I said.

"I drove up to Arlene and Eddie's place just as the police broke
down the door. They made me go inside so they could figure out
what happened. There was so much blood! Later, at the funerals,
everyone stared at me like I had some horrible contagious
disease.

"Ever since then, I seem to cry all the time. I can't help it.
The littlest things will set me off. One time a lady yelled at me
in the grocery store parking lot. And I just couldn't control
myself. Charlie had to leave work and come pick me up. When we
got home, he slapped my face. He told me not to be so emotional."

"That's enough," I said.

"And the worst thing was, it was all my fault! I told Arlene to
just wait, that Eddie would snap out of it. If I had just told
her to do something, none of this would've happened. Don't you
see? It was a terrible thing, and it was all my fault!"

She sobbed loudly, and I gathered her in my arms. I held her and
stroked her long hair.




I woke up at dawn's first light with her mouth around my cock.
Her lips formed a tight seal, and she bobbed her head vigorously
up and down. She stared me right in the eye, looking up at me
through her long lashes.

She pumped her mouth up and down, and I thought about what she
had said about her brother the night before. I cradled her face
with my fingertips and gently lifted her towards me.

We kissed, and she pressed her warm body against me. Her knee
worked between my legs, and her crotch settled down against my
upper thigh. Her hands ran strongly up and down my sides.

I rolled her over on her back. Her nostrils flared as I kneeled
between her legs. I picked a condom up off the nightstand and
tore it open, but before I could get it on, my erection began to
sag. "Damn!" I said. I tried to handle myself hard again. I tried
to think about her cunt, her curly pubic hair, and her soft
folds.

But seeing her lying there, I thought about her brother, and I
could no longer think of her just as someone to fuck. I tried to
imagine what her life must be like. A foolish husband,
ineffectual friends. Why did she reach out to a drunk old fool
like me? What did she think I could give her?

My erection was simply gone. I threw the unused condom on the
nightstand and slumped against the headboard.

"It's OK," she said. "I think maybe I'm just that kind of girl.
It happened with Daniel, too." She covered my shriveled penis
with her hand. "And my husband hasn't made love to me in a
month."

"It doesn't happen to me," I said.

She smiled and gave my thigh a pat. She laid her head down on the
pillow, and her eyes drifted off, and she got that dreamy look
again.

I snatched up the scotch bottle from the nightstand and took a
long, deep pull. The rich alcohol burned all the way down. I
wiped my mouth. I could smell the scotch on the back of my hand.
I took another swallow.

"You know, maybe sometimes you drink too much," she said. "I
think you passed out on me the other night."

I set the bottle down. She really was a nice kid. What had she
done to deserve this kind of life? "Thanks for the advice," I
smiled.

And I felt the sudden need to leave. But leave for where? I
didn't want to go back to my hotel room. And I surely didn't want
to return home. And I couldn't stand the thought of leaving Liz
lying there alone.

And then the idea struck me.

"Liz, why don't you run away with me? We can go somewhere warm,
like San Diego. I've been thinking about leaving for a long time.
I hate my job. My wife wouldn't miss me - we don't have much of a
marriage anyway. We could start our lives over new."

The idea made perfect sense, and I looked at her like a dog
waiting for its dinner.

A smile touched her face. She turned towards me and took my hands
in hers. She looked me straight in the eye, and she talked,
quietly and firmly. And while she never came right out and said
it, I knew she was telling me in no uncertain terms that she
would not go away with me. She had a kindness and caring and
gentleness that far exceeded her years. I felt like a child being
let down easily by a loving parent.

She kissed me gently. I looked into her warm, moist eyes. It was
a silly idea, of course. The last thing she needed in her life
was a man like me.

I couldn't just lie there, though, and I stood up. If I had been
back in my hotel room, I would've packed my bags. As it was, I
could do nothing but pick my clothes up off the floor while I
talked to her.

"So, what are you going to do with yourself, Liz?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said.

I felt a determination rise in me like I had not felt in years.
"I'm still going," I said.

She stood up and hugged me and kissed me. "You do what you need
to do."

I saw in my mind exactly how her life would go. She and her
husband would split up, and she would search about for other men,
men like Daniel, who were just as incapable of dealing with her.
She would bounce around in life, like a ship at sea in search of
a friendly port.

And I realized too that I would never really leave my wife.
Thinking back, the idea of moving to San Diego seemed ridiculous.

But I still felt the determination. I'd do something. That much
was for sure.




Liz dropped me off at the airport. She gave me a warm smile and a
kiss on the cheek as I prepared to board the plane. "Take care of
yourself, OK?" I said.

"I will," she said.

"And Liz, if you need anything ..."

"I will be sure to call." We hugged, and she gave my rump a
playful pat. "Bye now," she said. And I walked down the ramp onto
the plane.

I wondered if maybe I should have gone to San Diego after all. I
wondered what my wife would be doing when I walked in the door. I
wondered if I should tell her about Liz, but I couldn't imagine
how to confess my indiscretions without making an even bigger
mess of my marriage.

I stowed my bag and sat down in my seat. I asked the flight
attendant for a scotch, took a deep breath, sat back, and buckled
my seatbelt.






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poisoniv1. Or you can find mor estories like this on
my website, bounce.to/poisoniv1.

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